Separation Anxiety is Real - Settling into Platinum Education

Starting something new can be such a challenging process, even for adults, but when it comes to kids, they may have trust and attachment issues and feel afraid or anxious. Very sensitive children can be even more alert and react more strongly to new situations. No one truly loves change because it’s hard.

 Separation Anxiety is Real!

 Whilst separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of childhood development, it can be very unsettling.  Change is also difficult and scary, so there is a natural inclination to want to delay beginning for as long as possible.

 Samina is mum of 2 girls, an 18-month-old and a 3-year-old. When we first met Samina, she was really upfront with her worry for her 3-year-old, who struggled with separation anxiety even when she was left with her relatives who were familiar to her.

Samina was busy being a teacher and running her own event business, the children often were brought along and just like any great mum she wanted the best for her children and it was important that the children were having fun, building friendships and learning in a safe and nurturing  environment, while she was pursuing her love and earning money to help her family lead an amazing life.

 There’s some weird part of our brain that LOVES status quo, our COMFORT ZONE. We love things to stay just-the-way-they-are.  Every one of us is extremely comfortable in our own chaos — it’s known, predictable, and consistent.  Anytime we want to disrupt this, it’s as if the universe tries to STOP us.  Even those closest to us, friends and family, will often challenge your life-improving decisions.

 “Remember the things that will most improve our lives will, at first, be a little scary.”

We do need to start new things, it helps children develop the skills and resiliency to deal with these situations later in life.

Separation anxiety might have you feeling a variety of emotions. It can be nice to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to him or her. But you’re also likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with a caregiver or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.

 Rest assured this is not going to last forever!

 Separation anxiety is different from the normal feelings older kids have when they don't want a parent to leave (which can usually be overcome if a child is distracted enough). And kids do understand the effect this has on parents. If you run back into the room every time your child cries or cancel your plans, your child will continue to use this tactic to avoid separation.

 Keep in mind that your little one’s unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and that will comfort them enough while you’re gone. This also gives them a chance to develop coping skills and a little independence.

 As hard as it may be to leave a child who's screaming and crying for you, it's important to have confidence that the caregiver can handle it. By the time you get to your car, your child is likely to have calmed down and be playing with other things.

Children don't understand the concept of time, so they don't know mum will come back, and can become upset by her absence. Whether mum is in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it's all the same to the baby, who might cry until mum is nearby again.

If you get a positive reaction to separation, take another small step. If you get a negative response, stop and think about what you have learned. You will always learn something!  Fear is a typical response to new challenges or experiences. These situations make children feel uncertain, vulnerable, powerless, and anxious. They strip away a child’s sense of security and control.

Whilst it is so hard initially, long term this is the best outcome.

 Remember every child is different and settles at a different pace.

 “I have a child with separation anxiety and I visited at least 10 centres before finding Platinum Education. As soon as I walked into Platinum Education, I felt a level of comfort that I did not feel in many other places I visited. In just over 5 weeks i am so proud of how far my 3-year-old with separation anxiety has come with the help of all the wonderful teachers at Platinum Education. They just go out of their way to make you and your children feel safe and comfortable. They communicate with and work with you to ensure they achieve the best results for your child.” – Samina

 How Platinum Education helps to make the settling in process smoother and easier: -  

1. Provide orientations as they are so important – mum was a little worried about Elyssa so she ended up coming for more than 3 orientations – this helped to ease mum’s nerves as she was able to see parts of our day, have lengthy conversations with us about Elyssa’s interests and be able to observe her daughter within the environment.
2. Provide a family photo to display - have locker photo and we are here today photo to help your child feel welcome
3. It is so normal for a child to build relationships with the educators before building relationships with peers. We will never just leave your child crying, we will always comfort, support and distract them as needed.
4. It takes time – they still might cry and be upset on drop off – become clingier at home, this is the in between period, and is the crucial moment, because they are going to take your lead. If you are stressed and anxious about it, they will continue to decline and pick up on the energy, if you are calm and confident in your knowledge that it will be ok, it will just take time, your child is likely to settle in a lot quicker.
5. Once the child starts to feel more and more confident, they will slowly start to venture off to join in experiences with their peers.
6. We communicate with families every step of the journey, in person on drop off and pick up, through phone calls during the day, and then also on our online learning platform where you receive photos every day of what they have been participating in as well as regular updates on their individual progress.

How you can help your child to settle in: - 

• Don’t sneak away – let your child see you leaving and always say goodbye – because as soon as they realise you are gone, they will panic and it will not help settling in as they will always be looking for you and create that anxiety around leaving.
• Create a goodbye ritual – a hug, kiss and love you is great. Remind them that you always come back.
• Try not to get overly emotional – They will mirror your confidence and be looking for you as guidance during this period.
• Offer validation and reassurance – “I know this is hard and you want me to stay. I have to go. I love you and I’ll be back soon.”
• Do not linger, a quick goodbye is a good goodbye. As soon as they see you they are going to cry.
• Call our service as many times as you like throughout the day to see how they are going. Even if it’s 10 minutes after leaving.

At Platinum Education we are proud of our unique approach to early education, we are award winning service rated EXCEEDING by the relevant government authorities. If you’re looking for a local child care service that is there for not only your child but also for you and where you feel supported in the process of settling into preschool, then look no further than Platinum Education South Wentworthville. We see that it takes a village to raise a child and we would love you to be part of our village. – We Care!